Every leader knows the pain of holding on too long. We keep ministries alive that have lost their fruitfulness, tolerate patterns that are draining people and resources, and cling to good things that no longer represent the best use of our time and energy. Why? Often, it’s because we carry an oversubscribed need to please, or because the shepherd’s heart that loves people can sometimes conflict with the leader’s responsibility to steward the mission. In his book Necessary Endings, Henry Cloud reminds us that healthy leadership requires healthy endings. Today we invite Dr. Ralph Neighbour to the mic to explore how leaders can discern when it’s time to persevere and when it’s time to let go . . . and how to navigate those difficult endings with wisdom, courage, and compassion.

Why do so many leaders struggle with ending things that clearly are not working?

• An oversubscribed need to please.
• Struggle between the shepherd hat and leader hat.

Henry Cloud compares healthy endings to pruning a rosebush — unpack that for us

• Some programs are dead.
• Some ministries are unhealthy and draining resource/have no fruitfulness.
• Some activities are good but not the best use of time and energy.

How can leaders discern between a temporary struggle vs something needing to end?

• Look for patterns.
• Is there progress over time?
• Is this person open to feedback and being coached?
• Evidence of ownership and responsibility.

How should leaders communicate difficult endings to teams?

• Be clear. Be scripted.
• Obtain legal counsel from your insurance company. Only say what’s legal to say.
• Acknowledge the emotional impact on you and the team. Show compassion.
• Reinforce the mission and vision of the organization.

How can leaders build a culture where healthy endings are normalized, and not feared?

• Conduct regular evaluations of ministries/roles/metrics.
• Celebrate progress.
• Reward accountability and adaptability.
• Address problems early.
• Teach your team that endings are a part of the ministry.

Register here for the Necessary Endings cohort facilitated by Dr. Ralph Neighbour: https://convergecoach.com/cohorts/