I feel discombobulated.
In the past twelve months, three of my sons married the girl of their dreams. My fourth son graduated from Walsh College. Twelve months ago, Laura and I took on part-time responsibility for a new church plant, in addition to our full-time gig with Converge Coaching. Six weeks ago, we transitioned away from the church plant role. Every one of these events was awesome and good and wonderful. Who wouldn’t want an amazing year like we’ve had? I’m thankful for how blessed we are. And yet, can I confess to you. . . I honestly feel a little lost. And I’m a bit shocked by that.
Why in the world am I feeling discombobulated? As I started praying and thinking about it—and doing some detective work too, it wasn’t long before the Lord impressed this on me: This feeling of being a bit lost makes sense in light of the tectonic shifts in my life. My detective worked pushed up a confirming discovery: on the Holmes & Rahe stress scale—which measures the impact of forty-three respective life events on a person’s health—Laura and I scored off the charts.
Please don’t misunderstand. We’re not complaining about the last year. We’re delighted with our new daughters-in-law; super excited for our youngest’s awesome achievement of college graduation; we were pumped to take on the role of campus pastor, and pumped to transition the role to a capable couple. Life these past twelve months has been extremely good! Yet it feels like we’re stumbling through a fog of uncertainty, navigating uncharted waters, and wrestling with unexpected emotions. And we’re a bit shocked by it.
I asked the Lord if He could hold off on change for a bit so I can catch my breath. I received no guarantees from Him, but am hopeful for a season of less eventful living. Not sure how much more change (even good change) I can handle. I know it’s better than negative change, but change is change I guess.
Am I alone in this? Or do you sometimes feel discombobulated (man I love that word) due to a rapid series of changes in your life?
Has your world ever turned upside down, and you were left trying to figure out what the new normal looked like and how to respond to it? Sometimes discombobulation (I can’t help myself) comes as a result of negative, painful events. In those cases, it’s not surprising we feel shaken. But strangely, it can accompany a series of great, joyful events.
Regardless of the source of your discombobulation (last time I use this word, I promise), here’s some fabulous news: If you’re a Jesus-follower, in Hebrews 13:5, God makes a stunning promise to you: “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Stop for a minute and sink your teeth into that truth bomb. God will never walk out on you. Never flake out on you. Never leave you in a lurch. In the middle of instability, He is your solid rock.
No matter what comes your way—good, bad, or meh—He is with you. Walking alongside you. Carrying you. Wanting you to express to Him your honest emotions. Father God is your true north when events push your Holmes & Rahe stress rating through the roof, and it feels like you’re a bit lost.
Hebrews 13:6 is the cherry on top: “So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid.’” With God at our side, we find our footing. Waves of change won’t throw us off our game permanently. When life shocks you, Jesus can help you sort out confused emotions. He will talk to you in oases of quiet reflection and renewal. He will help you catch your breath, and plant you on solid ground. Discombobulation (just broke my promise, pray for me to repent) doesn’t have to become your permanent state of mind.
In our small group a few weeks ago, I shared my unexpected feelings with my friends. They helped me to interpret those emotions as simply normal and to be expected. They kindly and lovingly said: “Well, duh!” What a relief!
So, if you’re feeling a bit shocked by unexpected emotions today—pour out your feelings to Jesus. He’s the best listener ever, He cares about you more deeply than you know. And open up to trusted friends. This one-two combo will help you sort things out and allow you to walk confidently in your new season of life.
I’m rooting and praying for you!
Thank you, John. I completely understand those emotions. With my grandmother dying and my boys moving far away in the middle of “dangerous animal” territory to live in a tent…I am dealing with a bit of depression (and anxiety) as well. Your article was very helpful! 🙂