What can you do when you’re a pastor and have lost your passion? When your calling seems fuzzy, difficult, perplexing, and you wonder: “God, why did You lead me to this church?” Most pastors wrestle with these thoughts occasionally.  A couple of difficult Sundays in a row, people problems, feelings of inadequacy (am I doing a good job?), a lack of visible results—these can snowball into asking: “What in the world have I gotten myself into?”

More than 1000 pastors in the U.S. call it quits every month. Some estimates put that number as high as 2000. Now… every job has its own set of unique stresses. After twenty years in the corporate world, I’ve observed the following: Every role carries with it a degree of difficulty and some unpleasant components. But for me, there is something uniquely stress-inducing about pastoral ministry. When pastors go through a rough stretch, they can feel trapped by the role. Despair begins to set in. They wonder “Who can I talk to about this? And if I fess up, what will they think about me?” It doesn’t take long before it feels like the walls are closing in.

So… what can we do if we feel passionless, perplexed, discouraged, or desperate when it comes to pastoral ministry? What should we do when we’re on the verge of quitting?

Understand stress goes with the territory

The apostle Paul told his friends in Corinth that he had moments where he felt hard-pressed, perplexed, and squeezed by the daily pressure of concern for his churches. This accomplished leader experienced moments of paralyzing despair, at times so heavy he thought he wouldn’t survive. If Paul had rough stretches, why do we get surprised when we do? Not trying to minimize your distress here. But accepting the reality of periodic tough-sledding in pastoral ministry helps us be less shocked when it happens, and reduces the likelihood of a premature exit from the role.

Encourage yourself in the Lord

King David went through a boatload of tough seasons as a leader. One stretch was so bad, his most loyal men wanted to kill him. 1 Samuel 30:6 says: “And David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters; but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.” (KJV)  I suspect David encouraged himself in the Lord by getting alone with God, pouring out his heart, and recounting the times God delivered him in the past (bear, lion, Goliath).  When we’re struggling, we can’t expect others to carry the entire emotional load for us. We have a part to play, a responsibility to do our best to encourage ourselves as David did. I review my journal notes when a rough spot comes along. These entries help me remember the dozens of examples of God’s faithfulness, answered prayers, and outright miracles in the past. The journal captures moments of despair and how God brought me through each one. Reviewing the journal reminds me God is inherently good, even when times are tough. Ten minutes of journal reading helps me encourage myself in the Lord, and keeps me in the game. That being said…

Don’t carry the weight alone

A shared burden is automatically cut in half. If we isolate ourselves in our passionlessness, in our perplexity, in our moments of despair, we become more susceptible to Satan’s lying whispers. And more likely to quit too soon. When isolated, we have no one to challenge our thought processes. Nobody to help us sort through the maze of negative feelings crowding in on us.  No one to support us in prayer. Isolation is good only in small doses. Extended isolation compounds our problems.  Of course we need to be careful who we share our struggle with. Not every person we meet is a good candidate. Ron Edmonson lists these four qualities of a true friend: Unconditional love, unwavering support, willingness to challenge, and being full of grace. I would add the ability to keep confidences to Ron’s list.

Pastor if you’re in a rough stretch, feeling confused, inadequate, discouraged, or desperate—hang in there. Understand these periodic emotions go with the pastoral territory. Encourage yourself in the Lord. Get out your journal and remember God’s faithfulness. If you’re not journaling, maybe this would be a good time to start. Tell the devil to shut it—don’t give him an inch of territory in your mind. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. If negative thoughts and emotions are overwhelming you, and you’re ready to hang up your cleats, do everything in your power to find a true friend to confide in before you quit. If finding a true friend proves difficult, reach out to me at [email protected] and we’ll start a conversation.

I’m praying and rooting for you!