LEADING FROM ALIGNMENT EPISODE 232 – RESPONDING TO A FORCED EXIT – INTERVIEW WITH KYLE ISABELLI – PART 2

by | Apr 9, 2024 | Leadership, Ministry Leader, Pain, Pastor, Self-Evaluation, Wounds

 

Today John & Jim welcome Kyle Isabelli back to the mic for Part 2 of their conversation on the subject, Responding to a Forced Exit. In today’s episode they explore, among other things, the stats behind the forced termination of pastors, the proper tension between looking in the mirror and evaluating the contributions of their supervisors, and questions to ask early on to help determine philosophical alignment.

 

What are the stats behind forced termination of pastors?

  • Study of AG churches in Texas: One in three pastors have been through a forced termination.

What are some of the emotions/thought patterns you experienced when you were let go?

  • Anger – Anger at my supervisors. Anger at God.
  • Grief – Loss of relationships.
  • Shock
  • Sadness
  • It was an emotional roller coaster.

What is the proper tension between looking in the mirror and accurately assessing the contributions of other people when it comes to termination?

  • Start with yourself.
    • How did I fall short? In what ways did I fall short?
    • Remove the plank (or speck of dust) from my own eye first.
  • Try to put yourself in your supervisor’s shoes.
  • Be honest about what they did improperly but humanize them at the same time.

How does a pastor who is being interviewed for a staff position figure out if their philosophy of ministry is aligned with the organization they’re interviewing with? What can you do if you discover the misalignment after the fact?

  • Ask good questions:
    • What does a ministry win look like? Get crystal clear.
    • What am I most passionate about and does it align with the defined ministry win?
  • If after you’re hired, you discover misalignment:
    • Don’t cut the cord right away.
    • Talk honestly with your supervisors to determine if there is a way forward.

What do you wish your supervisors had done differently?

  • Created a high-feedback culture.
  • Bring more clarity early on regarding our philosophical differences. Clarity is kindness.
  • Be clearer with their expectations.
  • Perhaps a bit more empathy with the difficult personal season we were in.

 

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