Statistics drawn from over 12,000 coaching and/or counseling sessions with pastors during the years 2022-2023 revealed the following top four needs being addressed in descending order were:

• Burnout/exhaustion
• Marriage counseling (both critical and preventative maintenance)
• Unhealthy addictions/behavior (pornography, alcohol)
• Leadership coaching/coaching.

In today’s episode John & Jim explore the second most addressed need . . . the health of our marriage.

Three things we need to know about marriage:

Thing 1:  Our spouse is our most human relationship:

• It is uncanny how work or children can muddle our clarity on this first point.
• If everything else in my world is going well but my marriage isn’t, then my world is not well.
• Learn their triggers/reactions/wants.
• Create safety – Feeling safe is a key ingredient in a successful marriage.
• The most powerful influence for good (or not so good) in the churches we pastor or the ministries we lead is the health of our marriage.

Thing 2: Healthy marriages demand healthy marriage rhythms:

• Praying together.
• Exercising together.
• Carving out conversational space.
• Going to bed at the same time.
• Date nights.
• Regular, mutually satisfying sex.

Thing 3: Healthy marriages enlist outside help:

• Not just when crisis hits – but also preventive maintenance.
• Great marriage books exist – read up!
  • Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud and Townsend
  • 5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman
• Marriage Conferences – Fun Marriage Workshop – Greg and Rachelle Colegrove.