Laura and I returned earlier this week from a ten-day vacation in the Smoky Mountains. To celebrate our 40^th anniversary, we revisited the place where we honeymooned. The mountains, rivers, waterfalls, and wildlife were beautiful, inspiring, and refreshing. There’s nothing quite like God’s creation to fill up your tank.

I usually don’t start a vacation with the idea that life lessons await me, but it never fails . . . I always return with some important thoughts that hopefully will  continue to shape me moving forward. So here we go:

1. I’m not indispensable

Ten days of vacation. We haven’t taken ten days off in a row in a long time. Thoughts swirled through my head like, “Will I really be able to disconnect?” “What happens if I really do disconnect?” “Will clients who need to talk with me be upset that I’m not returning their calls or that I’m redirecting them to one of my Converge Coaching teammates?” I think anyone who leads an organization can relate to these mental gymnastics.

Well guess what? Converge Coaching was still here when we returned. I didn’t come back to brush fires, or an unmanageable stack of work, nor to problems and issues. Our team handled things beautifully.

Once in Tennessee, it took a few days, but both Laura and I were able to attain “vacation-mode” and unwind. A few clients reached out, but were assigned to other members of our team . . . and they were gracious about it.  And I was reminded all over again: Leaders can step away for a real vacation and not be anxious about “what happens when I’m gone?”  And if they feel they can’t step away, is it possible the organization is too centered around them?

2. I occasionally need a lack of structure

Ask Laura—I’m one of the most structured people you’ll ever meet. She kiddingly jokes about my “routines.” My work weeks are planned in advance. I work out 4x per week, the same mornings each week. I even have a routine for rotating the socks in my sock drawer because of my deep belief that doing so extends the life of socks!

But somewhere, early in the ten-day respite, I said good-bye to structure and let each day come to me. It was so relaxing to not care about time deadlines and having to be somewhere at a specific time.

Now . . . I’m back to work, and the structure has returned. But I think every leader, especially those with great routines, needs moments of unstructured relaxation. It’s good for our minds, our emotions, and our relationships.

3. I really love my wife

This might be the “well duh” point of this post. You may be thinking, “John, did you need a vacation to understand that?” Well, no and yes. I knew before we left on vacation that I love Laura. But spending ten days with her laughing, enjoying God’s beautiful creation, and eating great food together reminded me in a deeper way how much I love this woman. She is patient, strong, faith-filled . . . and she loves me, warts and all. Ten days of vacation provided a reinforcing shot of this reality.

How easy it is to lose understanding of the depth of love for your spouse in the busyness of work and life. To have diminished appreciation. I’m not suggesting vacation is the only remedy here. But for me, sharing extended time where it was just me and her served to remind me how lucky I am that she said “yes” forty years ago.

4. Time off from work gets me excited to work

I love what I do for a living. When you love what you do, you’re at more risk of overwork than most people—because what you do often doesn’t feel like work. Even so, during the weeks preceding our vacation, both Laura and I were scraping the bottom of the barrel energy-wise. Ten days off has filled us up. Vacation can remind us that rest actually helps us to work more enthusiastically and effectively. A healthy rhythm of work and rest sets us up to be more productive. Taking time to play helps us be more effective at work.

“Who has time for vacation?” you may wonder. If you’re a leader, a convenient time hardly ever presents itself.  You have to carve out vacation space because you know it’s vital to your well-being, your family’s health, and your leadership shelf-life.

So leader—are you frazzled? Running on emotional fumes? Feeling disconnected from your spouse and kids? Let me ask you: When was the last time you took a real vacation? No work, no phone calls, no emails, no sermon prep, no ministry-related reading? If it’s been a long time (six months or more)—get out your calendar, sit down with your spouse, and figure out a time to get away. . . for real. I suspect you’ll return from vacation more in love with your spouse and kids, refreshed physically, spiritually, and emotionally; more convinced that the organization you lead can survive for a time without you, and more ready to tackle your calling with renewed energy.

I’m rooting and praying for you!

John