We live in an angry world. Road rage stories grab front-page headlines… and for some commuters are a daily reality. Angry mobs protesting in Ferguson Missouri dominated the nightly news for weeks last fall. Stories of children abused by angry parents never seem to stop.

Let’s make it personal… who of us hasn’t been on the receiving end of a rage-aholic’s undeserved wrath at some point? We live in an Age of Rage. Anger is on the rise… but our understanding of what to do with it isn’t keeping pace.

Here are some things we need to know about anger: Anger isn’t evil in and of itself. It is a normal response when healthy relational boundaries are crossed. Anger can issue from leftover feelings we’ve carried from a hurtful event(s) in our past. Anger often exposes areas of our heart that need attention. How we deal with anger may be influenced by how it was handled in our family of origin. Christians tend to struggle with this emotion because they feel conflicted about it.

The feeling of anger itself isn’t wrong. The apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 4: “In your anger, do not sin.” It is not a sin to feel the emotion… it’s just easier to sin when we’re angry. In an Age of Rage, the question is not “How do we avoid anger?” The question is… “What in the world can we do with our anger?” Let me offer a few ideas:

Understand the negative impact of mishandled anger

When we go ballistic, it’s destructive to ourselves and those in the path of our rage. Blowing our top leaves a wake of relational destruction in its path. Understand that while you may get over losing your temper rather quickly… those around you most likely will not.

Identify the root of your anger

When you feel the volcano rising, ask yourself: “What is ticking me off here… for real?” Ask God to help you figure out what’s fueling your rage. The presenting anger is not always the real reason for angry feelings. A rough day at the office may be fueling your overreaction to your kids leaving dirty socks on the floor. Talking with people who will reflect truth back to you can help pinpoint the root.

Be assertive instead of passive/aggressive

Inappropriate language… screaming… or swinging our fists… these are aggression. Stuffing your anger and allowing it to fester on the inside; or giving people the silent treatment… these are passivity. Assertiveness is standing up for your legitimate rights and respectfully expressing how a person’s bad behavior is negatively impacting you. Assertiveness focuses on the bad behavior… not on the person doing the bad behavior.

Managing anger well means understanding the negative impact when we don’t manage it well… getting to the root of the problem… and expressing it assertively. Everyone knows what anger feels like. Here’s the good news… it doesn’t have to control us. We can learn new ways of responding that keep us from falling victim to the Age of Rage.