It’s time to kill the monster.

Jealousy . . . aka the green-eyed monster . . .  threatens us all. It’s an emotion every leader deals with occasionally. Its roots are insecurity, fear, self-doubt, etc. Jealousy can emerge when another leader achieves something you’ve wanted to achieve but haven’t. It can rear its ugly head when a person you dislike experiences success, or when he/she receives awards you think they don’t deserve.

The green-eyed monster is a thief. It robs us of healthy relationships. It distracts us from our God-given purpose. It steals our joy. No wonder the bible tells us in Proverbs 27:4: “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” It’s a powerful emotion with destructive potential. This monster must be killed.

You be wondering, how do I know if I’m struggling with jealousy? Here are three things to look for:

Critical-ness

If your default response to a person is negative . . . check your heart. Do they have something you wish you had? Money? Success? Good looks? If you find yourself focusing on a person’s weaknesses and ignoring his or her strengths, you may be struggling with jealousy.

Inability to enjoy another leader’s success 

When the Pharisees saw the crowds flocking to Jesus instead of them, they were filled with jealousy. When a colleague or even a competitor experiences growth in their career, or success in their ministry, or joy in their marriage, what emotions do you feel and what thoughts cross your mind? If you feel threatened, or tempted to minimize their achievement, or find yourself thinking: “I’ll never be as good as they are” or “they don’t deserve it” you may be struggling with jealousy

Discontentment

Contentment is not settling for less than God’s best. Contentment is an internal satisfaction and peace that’s independent of our external circumstances. Most of us were not born content. How do I know? Laura and I raised 4 boys. When they were young, there was lots of crying and whining, and it wasn’t always the boys doing the crying and whining! If you’re finding it difficult to be thankful for what you do have instead of being unthankful for what you don’t have, you may be struggling with jealousy.

So how do we kill this monster? Let me go preacher on you, and give four words that start w/ the letter “a” to help us.

Admit

Say the words “I’m jealous of_________.” The first step toward slaying the green-eyed monster is owning our jealous feelings.

Appeal

Ask God first to forgive us—and second—to help us grow up. Jealousy is the playground of the immature. God can help us—if we’re willing—to grow up and get free from jealousy’s control.

Appreciate

Thank God for what’s good in our lives . . . a roof over our heads, food to eat, and a family that loves us. Regularly express gratitude for the beauty of fall colors, blue sky, and sunshine. Thank God for salvation, for the Holy Spirit, for the privilege of being a partner with Him in kingdom work. Appreciating what’s good in our life frees us from jealousy’s death-grip.

Acquire

Acquire the habit of rejoicing in others’ success. The achievements of others don’t diminish our achievements. The world is big enough for all of us to succeed. Practice being happy when good things happen to other people, and jealousy will die.

The green-eyed monster is serious business. It is one of the “seven deadly sins.” Left unchecked, it has the potential to wipe out our future, to decrease our joy, and to mess up our relationships. To hamstring our leadership.

It’s time for us to kill the monster.

Rooting and praying for you,

John