In the United States, 60% of young women in dating relationships report some form of physical abuse. Nearly 80% of them continue to date their abuser. According to a UNICEF survey, the percentage of women aged 15-49 who think a husband is justified in hitting or beating his wife under certain circumstances is, for example: 90% in Afghanistan; 87% in Mali; 86% in Guinea; 81 % in Laos; and 80% in Central African Republic.

Mind boggling, isn’t it? Abuse… whether verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual… holds its victims hostage. It makes them feel like dirt. If you find yourself suffering harm at the hands of another person, here are three actions you can take to protect yourself:

Stand up for yourself
You have the right to draw and enforce a firm relational boundary when someone tries to harm you. If the abuse is physical in nature, put some geographic distance between you and your abuser. Physical space sends the message that you won’t tolerate their bad behavior moving forward. It keeps you safe while your abuser (hopefully) gets the help they need.

Maintain self-love
When your abuser tries to intimidate, control, or hurt you… tell yourself: “I am a person of great value. I don’t deserve to be treated this way.” This response takes practice… but over time it can become automatic. It builds a perimeter around your thoughts and emotions.

Lean on your support network
One of the greatest fears of an abuse victim is abandonment. They think: “If I stand up to my abuser, I’ll end up with no one in my life.” A loving, supportive, small group of healthy friends will give you the courage to stand up to your abuser. Don’t have a support network? Find a good church and get connected with safe people… people who give you permission to be human… to express your opinion… who don’t try to control you.

Abuse keeps its sufferers in relational prison. Break yourself free from its grip. Find the help and support you need to stand up for yourself. Work with a counselor. Get a restraining order if necessary. And reject the lie that somehow you deserve to be treated like dirt.