It’s frighteningly easy to ignore the things in our own lives that need adjusting, and instead focus on what needs adjusting in other people.

The words of Jesus in Matthew 7:3-5 address this: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

For our purposes today, let’s use the metaphor of “paying attention to your own yard.” It is way too easy to become focused on the weeds and disarray of neighbor’s lawn (weeds, length of grass, etc.) than we are with our own lawn. We tend to overlook the things needing tending within the confines of our own fence.

As leaders, we talk. A lot. This is a fact. We are expected to have carefully curated opinions on every topic at any given time. Even if this technically isn’t in our job description, it’s part of the gig.

My husband serves in a role our fellowship has elected him as overseer of our network. His job title is Superintendent. He is asked to speak at churches frequently. I am regularly astonished at the questions he gets asked at any given moment and the degree to which he’s expected to have a good answer.

We were at a church not too long ago when a random guy waited for him for a good fifteen minutes in a line of people who wanted to connect with him after the Sunday morning service. The man had a question he absolutely needed to ask the Superintendent. The burning question: What do you think about the firmament mentioned in Genesis 1?

I won’t give you the details of the exchange, but it was clear that the gentleman was not satisfied with the two-sentence response my husband had to wrangle up with no preparation.

The point is, often our roles require us to have thoughts and opinions on everything. And that isn’t always healthy for us. It’s sometimes difficult to turn off the faucet of our words as they pour from our mouths.

One of my favorite scriptures regarding this topic is Proverbs 10:19. The International Children’s Bible (ICB) version of it pulls no punches: “If you talk a lot, you are sure to sin. If you are wise, you will keep quiet.”

When many words are flowing, the temptation is toward believing our own headlines as well as sharing opinions about people and situations that are truly none of our business. And that is where we can subtly shift toward focusing more on what’s going on in someone else’s yard at the expense of caring for our own yard.

When the plank in our eye is preventing us from seeing our sins correctly, it’s important to adopt various postures that help us look in mirror first. Many times, strong reactions, and the urge to share opinions are often driven by this: deep down we are dealing with the very issue we are reacting to. Yikes. Ouch. If this is true, what can we do about it?

You can hear about a list of looking-in-the-mirror-first postures in the Leading from Alignment podcast that drops on December 17^th, but I want to preview one in particular today:

Be slow to speak

In effect, don’t be so quick to share your opinion about the condition of another person’s “yard.” James 1:19 states, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (ESV)

We live in a society where this sage advice is soundly ignored. Soundbites and social media posts filled with negative, angry opinions abound. We thrive on the likes and amens. But likes and amens that fuel our anger and hurt only serve to inflame the plank in our eye and make it much harder to view others with grace and accuracy.

If we find ourselves constantly compelled to respond to something online that rubs us the wrong way, address something we hear, or share a hurtful opinion . . . then we need to stop and ask ourselves: Why do I feel the need to address this? What about this statement is bothering me so much? Am I reacting to this because I’m projecting my own struggle with the same issue onto another person?

When we are slow to speak, we give ourselves the space to examine our motives. Are we responding to something that needs to be healed in us? Mastering the slow-to-speak posture is a skill that will take much practice to develop.

Be sure to tune in when the podcast drops on December 17th for additional ways to pay attention to your own yard.

In the meantime, please know we’re rooting and praying for you.

Jaime Hlavin