I ran across this verse of Scripture in 1 Corinthians a few days ago: “I (Paul) planted, Apollos watered, but God made it grow.”  The Corinthian church had been arguing over who was a better leader—Paul or Apollos. Paul responded: “You have it all wrong.” He and Apollos were a small part of the equation. They planted seed and watered it—but God brought the growth.

To some degree, church growth is out of a pastor’s hands. We can’t control who comes and goes. We can and should create conditions favorable for growth, but in the end, the results are up to God. The list of books, articles, blogs, etc. on church growth is endless. So much good stuff to read it can be overwhelming. But there’s not enough written about church growth being an inside job as it relates to a leader himself.

I want to suggest three behaviors that position a pastor for church growth. Obviously this isn’t a comprehensive list. But I suspect if we work on them, we set ourselves up to better handle whatever growth God decides to entrust to us.

Work on our marriage

If our ministry succeeds but our marriage fails, what have we gained? If we lose our church, we can still have a great life. If we lose our marriage, it will be harder to have a great life. And we’ll likely lose our ministry, at least for a season. Refuse to cheat your most important relationship (outside the one you have with Jesus) on planet earth. My wife Laura spells love: Q-U-A-L-I-T-Y  T-I-M-E. A few nights ago, after returning from our small group meeting, we had a nice conversation about the future, learning how to invest in the stock market (yes we really talked about that), what does being a grownup mean, etc. No phone, no tablet, no TV, no distractions. 30 minutes of focused attention added to our marital strength. Working on our marriage positions us for church growth. Neglecting our marriage in pursuit of church growth is a fool’s errand.

Admit we’re broken

The apostle Paul boasted about his weaknesses. He wrote: “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” His words seem counterintuitive to the current church culture. Isn’t a church’s success related proportionately to how together its leader is? The bigger the church, the more perfect the leader? Paul’s words don’t compute… unless you understand what he was really saying: “When I’m in touch with how weak I really am, I depend more on God. And when I depend more on God, I’m strong.”

Pride is a pastor’s sworn enemy. Admitting we’re in the middle of our own maturing process with God protects us from getting a big head. Paul wasn’t making excuses for ongoing immaturity, or a lack of character. He simply reminded the Corinthians he hadn’t arrived yet. And the sooner we admit that to ourselves and to our people, the better off we’ll be. Pastors are works-in-progress, leading people who are works-in-progress themselves. We need God’s grace just like our people do.  With our brokenness in mind, let’s consider a third behavior:

Grow ourselves

We either growing, or we’re not. The limiting factor in most churches is the inability or unwillingness of its leaders to grow, adapt, and change.  Yes other factors exist… geography… economy… culture… etc. But the most influential contributor to the growth curve of a church is the growth curve of its leaders. So make growing yourself a priority. Spend more alone time with God.  Remember the specific occasions He’s protected you, provided for you (sometimes miraculously and just in time), healed you, guided you, worked through you, forgave you, and encouraged you. Increase your awe of Him. Learn how to fill your emotional tank. Take charge of your calendar and your relationships. Give to yourself emotionally so you can give to others. Commit to leading better. Be clear with your team, pour into your staff, help them understand the outcomes you need from them. Hold them accountable without losing your pastoral heart. Make tough calls when necessary. If you don’t know how to lead that way, read good leadership books. Find a mentor or a coach who can walk alongside you.  I suspect the more we grow on the inside, the more church growth God can trust us with.

So pastor: how’s your marriage—for real? Is it growing? How’s your walk with God? Are you in touch with your weakness and brokenness, and cooperating with God in His character-building program for your life? Are you growing in your awe of Him? How’s your leadership? Are you directing your team with confidence and grace? Are you ingesting great leadership material? And do you have wise, godly people speaking into your life?

If you can answer yes to all of the above—my sense is you’re well-positioned for whatever growth God decides to give you. Church growth to a large degree is an inside job.

I’m rooting and praying for you!