Conflict . . .  for most leaders, the bane of their existence. Something to be postponed instead of embraced. And yet, a leader’s unwillingness to embrace conflict is one of the most limiting factors in his or her leadership journey. In today’s episode John and Jim unpack a biblical and practical approach to a problem most of us would rather avoid . . . managing conflict.

Difficult people

• Difficult people go to church.
• Not all people who go to church are difficult. The vast majority are not. But the few who are difficult can make life miserable for a leader.
• Pastors who intend on leading for the long-haul need steel in their spine. And that includes periodically dealing directly, honestly, and lovingly with difficult people.

The Apostle Paul’s approach

• “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.” Titus 3:10-11 (NIV).
• Tough calls with people who behave badly require a great deal of thought, prayer, wisdom, and humility. When pastors avoid these kinds of confrontations, they suffer, their church suffers, and so does the divisive person. Everybody loses.
• “But isn’t the confrontational approach unloving?” Nope. One of the kindest and most biblically sound things a pastor can do for a difficult person in their church is to tell them truth, wrapped with massive amounts of love.

Final Thoughts:

• Dodging tough calls is not loving. Allowing difficult people to have their way with you and the church you pastor is not leadership.
• When difficult people try to divide your church: two warnings, and no more.
• Nobody said leading was easy. And if they did, they were lying to you.
• Conflict management obstacles:
  • Lack of permission.
  • Lack of education.
  • Lack of understanding.