Here’s something most pastors didn’t learn at college: Difficult people go to church. The 2nd thing they didn’t learn: Difficult people can cause a great deal of harm. In today’s episode we dive into a two-part conversation around why getting better at forgiveness helps us lead at a higher and healthier level.

Requesting forgiveness from others

• Focus on behavioral change rather than asking for forgiveness – This approach is better because:
  • It rejects the temptation to minimize damage we’ve inflicted and allows the injured person time.
  • It understands the injured party may still be in shock over the injury and not in touch with how angry they are – and consequently, not ready to entertain the idea of forgiveness.

Extending Forgiveness to Others

• Forgiveness can be instantaneous or not – Psalm 55:12-14
• Be honest about the injury – Real forgiveness is not possible without truth as its bedrock.
• Be patient in the process – Keep forgiving until the process is complete. Lewis Smedes:
  • When I see the humanness of the person who hurt me
  • When I surrender the “right” to get even
  • When I ask God to bless them – when I can genuinely wish them well.