by | Feb 7, 2023 | Depression, Emotional Health, Leadership, Mental Health, Ministry Leader, Self-Care, Suicide

Summary: It’s February, and here in Michigan it’s the dead of winter, and often the height of Seasonal Affective Disorder. In today’s episode, John and Jim kick off a series of pods centered on the mental/emotional wellbeing of leaders with the subject: Become Your Own Best Friend.

You can listen to the audio version here. Here is the video version.

Show notes are below:


  • July 2020 CDC: 1 in 4 young adults in America ages 18-24, contemplated suicide due to the pandemic. A 300% increase over July 2019.
  • December of 2020 CDC: the percentage of Americans reporting depression symptoms during the coronavirus pandemic spiked to 42%, up from 9% in 2019. That’s a 400% increase over 2019.
  • The depression rate for pastors is even higher


First behavior: Become your own best friend


  • Our capacity to love others is directly related to the degree we love ourselves 22:36-39
    • 39 – “as” – “in the same manner as.”


How do we become our own best friend without becoming narcissistic?  

  • Healthy Self-talk
    • How I talk to myself about myself
  • Understanding the difference between self-care and selfishness
  • Selfishness: When we believe the entire universe revolves around us.
  • Self-care: When we intentionally nourish ourselves spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and relationally.
  • Acts 20:28 – “Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers.”
    • “Keep watch” – comes from a single Greek word that means – “to attend to, to pay attention to, to devote thought and effort to”
  • Philippians 2:4: “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
    • Becoming your own best friend means caring about others while at the same time caring for yourself. It’s not an either/or proposition—it’s both/and.