4 QUESTIONS EVERY LEADER NEEDS TO ANSWER FOR THEIR TEAM
One of the more important challenges a leader will ever solve is: How can I get more out of my team without crushing them? Unmercifully squeezing as much as possible out of team members until they burn out is not good leadership. Neither is manipulating or coercing...
FIVE THINGS I LEARNED AS A SUICIDAL PASTOR
In 1992, I was the lead pastor of a growing church. We were having a banner year. Highest attendance ever. More people committing their lives to Christ than any year prior in our tenure. Record financial giving. We were in a wonderful stretch of organizational...
3 SIMPLE SECRETS THAT WILL KEEP YOU IN THE RACE
I love what I do for a living. Coming alongside leaders and helping them lead better, lead longer, and enjoy it more is deeply fulfilling. Some days I pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. Getting to do what you love every day is a gift from God. But that...
4 SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE A PEOPLE-PLEASER
I want everyone to like me. But I don’t need everyone to like me. I’ve been wrestling with the above thought for weeks. I want everyone to like me. But I don’t need everyone to like me. Wanting everyone to like me, when issuing from a healthy place, speaks to...
3 TENSIONS WE NEED TO MANAGE TO GROW TRUST & DIMINISH WORRY
No amount of money will ease all of your anxieties if you leave trusting God out of the equation. Jesus said worry chokes the life out of what He’s planted in us. And elsewhere He commanded us: “Do not worry, saying ‘what shall we eat/drink/wear?’ For the pagans run...
6 WAYS TO HEAL YOUR BROKEN HEART
“Lord, I’m hurting this morning.” Ever prayed that prayer before, or some version of it? I’m not talking about physical pain here—rather, about emotional pain. Especially the variety that issues from disappointing relationships. You know, the kind of pain that feels...
3 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU FEEL STUCK
Over the weekend, Laura and I helped some dear friends move into their new house. I was freshly reminded of the stress moving into a new home places on people: the boxes, the planning, the long hours painting and cleaning, and the overall disruption it inflicts on...
4 WAYS TO FREE YOURSELF FROM THE PRISON OF PERFECTIONISM
I am a recovering perfectionist. It was circa 1997. I was in a pre-service prayer room, getting ready to speak to a group of about one hundred teenagers. I was pleading with God for twenty agonizing minutes to help me, use me; praying like I was trying to wrench...
4 WAYS TO OVERCOME SCHEDULE ARRHYTHMIA
I have several friends who suffer with Arterial Fibrillation or A-fib. With A-fib, the heart's upper chambers (atria) beat out of coordination with the lower chambers (ventricles). Another word used to describe A-fib is arrythmia. Arrhythmia is a problem with the rate...
THE 4 FUNDAMENTALS OF FORGIVENESS
Do you struggle with the F-word? The last two weeks we’ve been looking at the subject of getting a grip on our anger and learning how to express it in a healthier way. You can’t talk about anger very long without wandering into the minefield of forgiveness. Ugh....
5 WAYS TO BE ANGRY WITHOUT BLOWING IT
We live in an angry world. The age of outrage. In last week’s blog, 5 Things Everyone Needs to Know About Anger, we considered five basics we have to understand: Anger is part of the human experience Anger often involves emotional residue Anger can be the right...
5 THINGS EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT ANGER
We live in an angry world. The age of outrage. Is it just me, or do people in general seem angrier than ever? A husband remarked to his wife one day, “When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? His wife replied, “I clean the toilet.”...
4 THINGS BEING A PAPA HAS TAUGHT ME ABOUT GOD’S LOVE
I’ve been a papa now for two weeks. What an amazing club I’ve joined. In a blog two weeks ago I tried to describe the magnetic pull that occurred the first time I held our granddaughter in my arms. What an incredible bonding moment. Two weeks later, I find myself...
8 OFTEN OVERLOOKED SIGNS OF DEPRESSION
“John I’m feeling depressed.” In my line of work, I often hear those words. Having experienced major depression two decades ago, when someone tells me they’re feeling depressed, I wonder: are they having a couple of bad days in a row—or are they dealing with...
4 EMOTIONS OF A NEW “PAPA”
It’s 2:00 a.m. in the morning. I’ve just been notified that for the first time, I’m a papa! Our first granddaughter made her grand appearance a few hours ago. I was sleeping soundly, so didn’t hear my son’s text letting us know their precious little bundle had...
4 WAYS TO BEAT BITTERNESS
One of the hardest things to do in life is to forgive a person who has deeply wounded you. When a somebody attacks us, forgiveness is not usually the first thing on our mind. For some of us, our initial impulse may be to retaliate. For others of us, we may tend...
HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE RUNNING ON EMOTIONAL FUMES—AND 4 SHORTCUTS YOU CAN TAKE TO REFUEL
Emotions can be funny things. Some people let their emotions control them. Others refuse to acknowledge they even possess emotions. Some leaders, to their own peril, ignore the important role a full emotional tank plays in longevity. According to a Barna Study of...
3 WAYS TO PROCESS THE PAIN OF RELATIONAL LETDOWNS
Disappointment is the gap between our expectations and our reality. The bigger the gap, the more disappointment we feel. The more disappointment, the more pain we experience. Nowhere does disappointment seem to rear its head more than in relationships. When I take...
5 QUESTIONS TO ASK WHEN CONSIDERING A TRANSITION
“John, I can’t take the pressure anymore . . . I’m thinking about resigning.” You’d be surprised how often those words or some variation of them travel across the cellular airwaves to me each month. Lead pastors who feel desperate, tired, emotionally beat up, out of...
4 SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE OUT OF RHYTHM
The rhythmic pounding of ocean waves might be one of the most relaxing sounds God ever created. A couple of weeks ago, Laura and I spent a week vacationing in sunny, warm Florida. (Michigan weather, please get a clue). We took in Venice Beach on a windy day, and the...
3 LIFE-SAVING RESPONSES TO DEPRESSION
“My life is over!” It was a bone-chilling night in November 1992. Weeks of little-to-no sleep combined with a lack of appetite due to excessive anxiety finally came to a head. My emotions were spinning out of control, I was suicidal, and contemplating the least...
3 Things King David Teaches Us About Leadership & Disappointment
What do you do when ministry doesn’t work out the way you envisioned? When your expectations are swallowed up by disappointment? How do you react when you feel more like a firefighter (or a babysitter) than a leader? Have you ever thought to yourself: “I didn’t sign...
3 REASONS GREAT LEADERS NEVER STOP LEARNING FROM OTHERS
When you’re experiencing momentum in ministry or business, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you are the secret sauce to that success. It’s easy to get a big head when you’re on a roll. It’s tempting to quit listening to outside voices because you either...
6 REASONS PASTORS RESIST REST
I am fed up. According to an extensive Barna research study of 14,000 U.S. lead pastors, published in January 2017, 37% of lead pastors are at medium to high risk of burnout. 43% are at medium to high relational risk with their spouses. A whopping 66% say they have...
3 WAYS TO ESCAPE THE TRAP OF ISOLATION
Several months ago, Laura and I taught at a church in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. For those of you who are not Michiganders, our state’s Upper and Lower Peninsulas are connected by the five-mile long Mackinac Bridge. If you don’t like bridges,...
ARE YOU BUSY—OR PRODUCTIVE?
Assignment. A critical word for a leader. 2 Chronicles 23:6 says: “… all the other men are to guard what the Lord has assigned to them. The game Trivial Pursuit, created in 1979, is a board game in which winning is determined by a player's ability to answer trivia...
3 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU QUIT
What should you do if you’re a pastor and have lost the passion for your calling? What can you do when your assignment seems fuzzy, difficult, perplexing, and you find yourself wondering: “God, why did You lead me to this church?” Most pastors wrestle with these...
3 PARTS OF A HEALTHY “HELLO”
A healthier way to say “goodbye” to people who leave your church starts with a healthier way of saying “hello” when they arrive. Today I’d like to share a brief excerpt from a new book I coauthored with Jim Wiegand, Putting the Good in Goodbye Jim: Few things are more...
5 PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO 5 COMMON STRESSORS PASTORS FACE
In last week’s blog we looked at 5 Common Stressors Pastors Face: Difficulty separating from work Wear and tear of spiritual warfare Societal dysfunction Raising/maintaining church budget Sensitivity Today I’d like to offer some practical ways pastors can address...
5 COMMON STRESSORS PASTORS STRUGGLE WITH
It’s 2018! Every New Year’s Day for me brings with it a sense of a fresh start, rekindled hope, and renewed faith. I think most pastors anticipate the new year with optimism, and hold the sincere belief that the year ahead will be even better than the one they’ve just...