12 SURPRISING INSIGHTS I’VE LEARNED AS A CAMPUS PASTOR—PART 2
This past Sunday was my last as campus pastor at our church’s Washington Township location. In last week’s blog I identified six surprising things I’ve learned as a campus pastor: Pastoral ministry possesses an invisible pull to the micro (tactical) at the expense of...
12 SURPRISING INSIGHTS I’VE LEARNED AS A CAMPUS PASTOR—PART 1
This coming Sunday is my last as campus pastor at our church’s Washington Township location. I’ve served in that role part time since July 2016, and the campus has grown to the point where it needs full-time attention. Since our primary calling is Converge Coaching,...
FATHER OF THE GROOM: EL TERCERO (THE THIRD ONE)
Our son Nathan is getting married this weekend! As the big day approaches, my mind is overflowing with memories. Great memories. Memories of raising a boy who had a happy temperament from day one. His dimpled cheeks, Lake-Michigan-blue eyes, and infectious personality...
3 WAYS TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM JERKS
Ever been abused by a jerk? This past weekend I watched a large chunk of the NFL draft. I was amazed by how many draft prospects’ value plummeted due to off-the-field issues—many of those issues involved the physical abuse of women. Is it just me, or does it seem like...
5 ROCK-SOLID WAYS TO BETTER HIRING
Building a great organization requires a great team. Building a great team starts with a robust hiring process. And a robust hiring process begins with conducting great interviews. College didn’t teach me about interviewing, Fifteen years of pastoral ministry didn’t...
FRIENDSHIP & THE PASTORATE
Can a lead pastor have close friends? This question was posed to me by a client last week. My initial reaction? “Yes of course.” But as we dug deeper, he wondered if it's safe/advisable to be close friends with his staff and congregation. The longer we talked, the...
3 SURPRISING REASONS LEADERS PURSUE UNCOMMITTED PEOPLE
One of the biggest mistakes I made as a young pastor was spending too much time trying to get uncommitted people to be committed. I would do breakfasts, lunches, and coffees trying to convince the unfaithful fringe to become faithful. And in doing so, I largely...
3 THINGS EVERY LAY LEADER SHOULD KNOW
The church wouldn’t survive without its army of lay leaders. I’m grateful for the lay leaders I have the privilege to work alongside. They’re talented people who love the Lord, work hard, and create a great vibe in our church. Our campus wouldn’t make it without them....
4 WAYS TO THRIVE IN THE FACE OF CRITICISM
Criticism hurts. No matter how great a leader you are, there will always be a few parishioners who don’t like you and feel it’s their calling to criticize you. This group who thinks you suck usually ranges anywhere from 4% to 15% of your congregation. And...
MLM: MINISTRY LEADERS & MEDS
I’m a ministry leader who has been on meds to help with depression, and still uses those meds on an as-needed basis. Whew, I said it! Leaders tend to be a proud bunch. We lean toward projecting an image of having it all together. This false image includes: faith that...
4 PROVEN WAYS TO BEAT DISCOURAGEMENT
I get to talk with pastors and other ministry leaders for a living. It’s a privilege to walk alongside these men and women, and listen to their joys and heartaches, their hopes and fears, their victories and defeats. Wonderful people, each one of them. Yet for a...
3 SENSIBLE WAYS TO STOP HIDING
Pastors often struggle alone. While having breakfast with a pastor earlier this week, we talked about how leaders tend to feel trapped when they're going through a difficult season. Questions like: “Who do I talk to when I’m hurting?” and “Who is safe to confide in?”...
5 SURPRISING REASONS PASTORS OVERWORK
The more pastors I talk to, the more I realize many of them struggle with busy. At a recent conference, I asked several pastors how they were doing with taking a day off every week. The first two replied: “I don’t take a full day off and haven’t for years.” Two more...
3 BENEFITS OF TAKING A DAY OFF EVERY WEEK
When I ask pastors about their day off, I’m often greeted with a blank stare followed by uncomfortable mumbling. Some report they haven’t taken a day off in years… and even worse… a few of them are proud of it. Many contributors to pastoral burnout exist. An...
3 AMAZING OUTCOMES OF GREAT ROUTINES
I am a creature of habit. I get up early every morning, spend time with my Heavenly Father in prayer and reading His Word. I use a structured approach to my prayer life, praying for a different group of people on the same day each week. I read through the Bible...
5 BEHAVIORS OF A SECURE LEADER
Many leaders struggle with the demon of insecurity. (I’m using the word “demon” metaphorically, not literally.) King Saul was the crown prince of this particular character flaw. Chosen by God to be Israel’s first king, Saul had good looks, leadership skills, flashes...
3 IMPORTANT BEHAVIORS OF A PASTOR’S WIFE
Today we welcome a fresh voice to the Converge Coaching blog… Jamie Hlavin. Jaime is a wife, mother, and a friend of mine. Hope you enjoy her contribution ~ John When I was 15, I met a guy with perfectly straight teeth and a beautiful head of gorgeously styled hair....
WHEN GREAT DOESN’T FEEL GREAT
It’s Monday morning. Sitting here in my office, thinking about yesterday’s church service. Truly a powerful day: Great worship; great message from our lead pastor; great response from our people. We had a great crowd too. Afterward Laura and I met with our team...
4 WAYS TO BULLET-PROOF YOUR JOB
A bulletproof vest helps absorb the impact of bullets and shrapnel. Its purpose is to keep these kinds of ammo from penetrating a person's body. These vests don't guarantee survival when we're getting shot at, but greatly increase our chances coming out alive. While...
3 BEHAVIORS TO GROW YOUR CHURCH
I ran across this verse of Scripture in 1 Corinthians a few days ago: “I (Paul) planted, Apollos watered, but God made it grow.” The Corinthian church had been arguing over who was a better leader—Paul or Apollos. Paul responded: “You have it all wrong.” He and...
3 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU QUIT
What can you do when you're a pastor and have lost your passion? When your calling seems fuzzy, difficult, perplexing, and you wonder: “God, why did You lead me to this church?” Most pastors wrestle with these thoughts occasionally. A couple of difficult Sundays in a...
FRIENDLY FIRE
Friendly fire describes what happens when a military person accidentally fires on a fellow soldier. One of the most well-known of these incidents happened to Pat Tillman. He was a football player in the NFL who enlisted in the U.S. army in response to 9/11. Tillman...
HOW TO TALK WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
In last week’s blog, Leadership & Difficult People we stated that longevity in ministry requires pastors to occasionally make tough people-decisions. Dealing with dividers, boundary-crashers, triangulators (fancy term for gossips), square pegs in round holes,...
LEADERSHIP & DIFFICULT PEOPLE
I graduated from Oral Roberts University a starry-eyed 22-year old who was going to change the world for Jesus. No matter where God planted me and Laura, we were going to set records for Him. We would love people, and they would love us. It didn’t take long for my...
WHY PASTORS OVERSCHEDULE
This past Sunday we celebrated Family Christmas at our church. It’s an annual event where we honor people who lived out the Christmas story during the past year. We had a big crowd. So much energy in the room. Everything was perfect. Later that afternoon, sitting on...
EMOTIONS: FRIEND OR FOE?
When it comes to the subject of emotions, pastors tend to fall into two camps. Camp 1 believes emotions are meaningless and don’t matter. Emotions are to be ignored. And at the extreme layer of Camp 1… emotions are your sworn enemy. Camp 2 believes emotions are...
4 THINGS THIS PASTOR IS THANKFUL FOR
A tradition around many tables this Thanksgiving includes each person sharing a thing or two they’re thankful for during the past year. It’s been fun to watch the development of this tradition around the Opalewski Thanksgiving table. When the boys were young, it went...
3 THINGS EVERY LEADER SHOULD KNOW
Wouldn’t it be great if all a leader needed to know was 3 things? Wouldn’t our lives be simpler? Of course a leader needs to know more than 3 things—that's one reason more books on leadership exist than we’ll ever be able to read in our lifetime. I’ve lost count of...
PASTORAL HEALTH – A MYTH?
Being a pastor has its great points. Being a pastor has its not-so-great points. Some people have a naïve view of pastors. They’re convinced since he or she is doing the Lord’s work, a pastor’s life is a charmed life… exempt from normal human pressures, and the wear...
MONDAY MORNING IN PASTORVILLE
Monday morning. The sworn enemy of pastors. It’s said that many pastors quit every Monday morning, only to re-up by the end of the day. On Monday morning, Sunday gets replayed in our head. The good and the not-so-good. “Thank you Lord for Your felt presence. For those...