May 3, 2018 | Abuse, Anger, Bitterness, Difficult people, Emotional Health, Forgiveness, friendship, Relationships, Uncategorized
One of the hardest things to do in life is to forgive a person who has deeply wounded you. When a somebody attacks us, forgiveness is not usually the first thing on our mind. For some of us, our initial impulse may be to retaliate. For others of us, we may tend...
Dec 21, 2017 | Calling, Difficult people, discouragement, Fear, Leadership, Ministry Leader, Missionary, Pastor, People Leaving, Quitting, Uncategorized
I have exciting news to share with you—our newest book—Putting the Good in Goodbye: A Healthy Conversation About the Comings & Goings of Church People—is due out in January 2018! I coauthored the book with my friend and colleague Jim Wiegand, and decided to salt...
Aug 17, 2017 | Burnout, Calling, Criticism, Depression, Difficult people, discouragement, Leadership, Ministry Leader, Missionary, Pastor, Quitting
“John, I can’t take the pressure anymore. . . I’m thinking about resigning.” You’d be surprised how often those words or some variation of them travel across the cellular airwaves to me each month. Lead pastors who feel desperate, tired, emotionally beat up, out of...
May 4, 2017 | Abuse, Anger, Difficult people, Fear, Relationships, Uncategorized
Ever been abused by a jerk? This past weekend I watched a large chunk of the NFL draft. I was amazed by how many draft prospects’ value plummeted due to off-the-field issues—many of those issues involved the physical abuse of women. Is it just me, or does it seem like...
Mar 30, 2017 | Calling, Criticism, Difficult people, Leadership, Ministry Leader, Pastor
Criticism hurts. No matter how great a leader you are, there will always be a few parishioners who don’t like you and feel it’s their calling to criticize you. This group who thinks you suck usually ranges anywhere from 4% to 15% of your congregation. And...
Dec 22, 2016 | Calling, Difficult people, Fear, Leadership
In last week’s blog, Leadership & Difficult People we stated that longevity in ministry requires pastors to occasionally make tough people-decisions. Dealing with dividers, boundary-crashers, triangulators (fancy term for gossips), square pegs in round holes,...
